Why This Ridiculously Beautiful Book Won’t Let Me Sleep: 8 Unanswered Questions About The Curious World of Calpurnia Tate


Right now, if you’re slack-jawed and drooling at the sheer gorgeousness of this cover, understand that no one is judging you, if only because we’re all doing the same thing.

I’m not reviewing this masterpiece. Let it suffice to say that this is a fitting sequel to the original. Unfortunately, it leaves a whole lot of unanswered questions which are robbing me of my sleep, and aiding my rapid transformation into a crazed zombie/extra from Walking Dead. Here they are:

  1. Is Aggie’s life really as peachy as she claims? Aggie is one resourceful nut, but I can’t help wonder whether her get-rich-quick scheme will bear fruit. Also, is it possible for me to incorporate more food puns in this?
  2. Will Calpurnia ever confront her father about giving her half as much pocket money as her brothers? The injustice still rankles.
  3. What of Calpurnia’s constantly shifting future? I don’t want an epilogue portraying her life as a successful veternarian, but- wait, scratch that. That’s actually what I do want, though I do despise epilogues.
  4. Will anybody confront Travis about his legendary squeamishness?
  5. Will Travis decide to become a veternarian despite aforementioned squeamishness?
  6. Will we ever get to see Callie Vee become a teenager? I foresee some hilarious rejections of prospective suitors.
  7. Will any of Calpurnia’s brothers marry her best friend Lula? Some part of me would like her to remain an indomitable twelve year old, yet there’s another part that would really like to know these things. (That somewhat awkward moment when your mind keeps contradicting itself).
  8. Will Calpurnia convince her parents to let her go to college? I realize I kind of jumped the gun here, but there’s no way she can be a vet unless she gets a degree. More importantly, will those gargoyles her parents reconcile themselves to the fact that she is choosing a different path for herself than the one they have chosen for her?

‘Please, please let there be a sequel to this’ is probably what my nightly prayers should end with, starting now.


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