Texting Viole(n)ts

(This is the second in a series of posts. Read the first here.)

Person: Hey

Me: Hi

Person: Hey

I’m sorry, what? You initiated this conversation, you come up with something to say. You’ve now created a conversational ping-pong ball match where greetings are exchanged back and forth without the any substantial communication imparted on either side. If you didn’t have anything to say, why text me? Besides, you’ve given me a dilemma. (Thanks a lot, you inconsiderate nincompoop who cannot even text.) I don’t know if I ought to reply, in order to avoid allegations of ignoring you and/or to keep from being rude. On the other hand if I do reply, I’ll be lengthening the duration of an already meaningless conversation.

Rather than creating this messy, awkward situation which may potentially damage the structural and/or functional integrity of the friendship between us, might I suggest an alternative? Text me, without saying hi, and start the conversation right off. If you must say hi, you might include a conversation starter. Something I can go off on, which motivates me to text you back, see?

(Is it just my head in which these thoughts arise? I must know.)

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